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3 Hal yang Perlu Dilakukan Saat Pendekatan


Mendapatkan pria idaman memang tidak semudah membalikkan telapak tangan. Pada tahap pendekatan, kesalahan sedikit apapun bisa berujung pada gagalnya menjalin percintaan.

Tapi bukan berarti Anda harus berusaha terlalu keras untuk menarik hatinya. Kuncinya adalah, perluas pandangan tentang diri Anda dan orang lain.

"Kesuksesan kencan tergantung pada bagaimana cara Anda menghargai hidup dan diri sendiri, walaupun mungkin hidup yang Anda jalani sekarang bukan seperti yang Anda rencanakan," tutur Michelle Callahan, Ph.D., penulis buku 'Ms. Typed: Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships and Find Dating Success', seperti dikutip womenshealth.

Para ahli menyebutkan ada tiga kunci utama yang sebaiknya dilakukan saat Anda dan si dia masih dalam proses penjajakan menuju hubungan yang lebih serius. Apa saja?

1. Tersenyumlah
"When you're smilin'...keep on smilin', the whole world smile with you". Penggalan lirik lagu yang dinyanyikan Louis Armstrong ini bisa diterapkan dalam mencari cinta.

Menurut Craig Malkin, Ph.D., psikolog di Cambridge, Massachusetts, saat Anda tersenyum pada seorang pria, bisa memacu sel-sel syaraf pada otaknya yang menstimulasi perasaan bahagia. Dengan kata lain, pria yang Anda beri senyuman tanpa sadar akan mulai berbagi kegembiraan dengan Anda.

Ditambah lagi, sebuah studi yang diterbitkan jurnal Psychological Science menemukan bahwa tersenyum kepada seseorang membuat Anda terlihat lebih cantik, sehingga Anda akan lebih menarik di mata pria.

"Sikap gembira membuat orang tertarik untuk mengenal kita. Tapi masih banyak wanita di masa sekarang yang lupa tersenyum saat berpapasan dengan orang lain," ujar Direktur Program Psikologi Cazenovia College Rachel Dinero, Ph.D.

Kecenderungan ini tidak bisa disalahkan, karena mungkin mereka baru saja menjalani hari yang sibuk dan berat, belum lagi masalah-masalah lainnya. Tapi cobalah untuk tersenyum lebih sering. Sebuah penelitian menunjukkan, saat tertawa, kita akan menarik otot-otot wajah yang berfungsi meningkatkan mood bahagia.

2. Pancarkan Kepercayaan Diri
Sikap percaya diri efeknya sama seperti sebuah lampu pemancar besar, yang memperlihatkan semua kualitas bagus yang ada pada seseorang. Hal tersebut menjelaskan kenapa dalam studi terbaru --yang diterbitkan Journal of Personality and Social Psychology-- menemukan bahwa pria lebih tertarik pada wanita yang percaya diri.

Agar kepercayaan diri terpancar, Anda tidak harus sekolah khusus kepribadian atau menyewa jasa pelatih kepribadian. Rasa percaya diri bisa muncul dengan sendirinya, saat Anda memikirkan hal-hal positif.

Saat bertemu seorang pria, berpikirlah bahwa Anda memiliki semua kualitas baik sebagai seorang wanita. Namun jangan sampai Anda memunculkan sikap angkuh atau merendahkan (over-confidence).

3. Fokus pada Masa Sekarang
Saat bertemu pria yang tepat, singkirkan dulu pikiran untuk cepat menikah dan punya anak. Apalagi jika Anda dan pria tersebut baru dalam proses penjajakan. Pria biasanya punya 'radar' yang bisa memberitahu tujuan wanita dalam menjalin hubungan. Karena alasan-alasan tertentu, pria pada umumnya takut berkomitmen terlalu cepat.

Saat berkencan, jangan terburu-buru membicarakan masa depan, tapi fokuslah pada aktivitas yang sekarang Anda lakukan, apa yang jadi ketertarikan Anda atau hal-hal apa saja yang berarti bagi Anda (selain pernikahan, setidaknya untuk saat ini).

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